Death can be somewhat traumatic for people who werent ready for it. This refers to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. It is caring for a person. No, because there is nothing there to feel pain with! Youre dead, youve passed on! You are no more! You have ceased to be! Youve expired and gon expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, To Bury or Burn? Cremation is safe for your soul. Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. He can also resurrect a Christian burned at the stake, or a Christian torn to pieces by lions in a Roman coliseum, or a Christian digested by a great white shark off the coast of Florida. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Then the child feels guilt for feeling these negative emotions towards the mother. Most of the body, such as tissue, is vaporized, leaving only the remains of bone. Just feels weird. But its not only pastors who take this stance; two of the major world religions and some branches of Christianity also disallow cremation. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. (Jones has also written a more extensive articleTo Bury or Burn? For the first time in American history, a majority of Americans (50.2 percent) have chosen cremation rather than burial (48.5 percent) after their death. Costs vary quite a bit depending on the size and material quality. I can understand why some of you may feel uneasy at the thought of cremation: one day, that person is by your side.and then a few days later, nothing but dust and ashes.. Learn More At Agape Pet Services, well guide you through the process, cremate your pet and return the cremains in a dignified and attractive package. Because of this, its difficult to fully separate fact from fiction. Why feel guilty about not visiting the gravesite? Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. If you die unexpectedly, like from an accident or murder, you will probably hang around your body for a while; anywhere from 20 minutes to several days. I wish every day that she could come back to me. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. Within a few hours the body is vaporized andreduced to bone fragments. I hate the thought of her body being burnt. Islam believes cremation to be haram, which is something that is expressly It holds some of her ashes in it, but it just looks like pretty jewelry to other people. 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Regardless of the cause of death, or the state of your relationship at the time of their death, you can easily become overwhelmed with survivors guilt, knowing that you were spared while they were not. (1 Sam. The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. Ive had more than a handful of pastors tell me cremation is a no-no. Thats why the mind begins searching for answers, because it hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain. Opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a Lost Cause. After all, within the Christian tradition funerals aren't simply ways of disposing of dead bodies, nor are they about remembering the departed or expressing grief. Mindfulness and meditation can have a huge impact on the grieving process, especially when it comes to guilt associated with loss. Here are some of the more common issues that cause people to skip the funeral, even that of a family member or good friend: They arent prepared emotionally to say goodbye to the person whos passed The idea of seeing a dead body, or even stepping foot in a funeral home, gives them the creeps They dont want to run into someone theyd rather avoid. Cremation casket. Really sorry to hear your Mum passed away. At this point, I realized that my witty joke had probably done more harm than good. Ultimately, the mind wants answers to problems. 5:68; Phil. Included in the options that all funeral homes must offer are direct burial and natural burial. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. I much preferred the service. Your older brother definitely did a jerk thing, I couldn't care less about cost when it comes to fare welling a loved one. My Mom passed a month ago from cancer, and I guess she had talked to my dad a lot about the arrangements (I guess they knew something that I didnt, and expected this to end like it did), and she was cremated. This results in both confirmation and negativity biases. . It could be outside pressure from your partner or loved ones. It's just an awful thought. I was sort of surprised she would even think that was possible. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lordfor we walk by faith, not by sightwe are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Many of these memories will be accurate, while many others may not be accurate at all. This pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in me. Once that happens, you arent getting back into your body! None of these references reflects the normative funerary practices of Gods people. Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. I'm not sure what to do.. The view that cremation is wrong isnt uncommon among pastors. However, I do think its a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days after a person dies before you dispose of the body. 1 Guilt can be grouped in with other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and shame. Healing from loss isnt easy. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. Everyone person on earth has experienced guilt at one time or another. Powered by Invision Community. My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. If more grave spots were located on church properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. Having it makes me feel lost, empty and as if I have a hole in my chest. Coping with guilt takes practice, awareness, reflection, and self forgiveness. Which Method Best Demonstrates Love of God and Love of Neighbor? No check is required to determine if a person is actually deceased before cremation occurs. How should Christians determine whether to choose burial or cremation? Is cremation a sin, or is it an ethical option for Christians? If so, graveyards are unnecessary, too. For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. Rather, for believers, funerals ought to be Christ-centered events, testifying throughout to the message and hope of the gospel. Hugs so sorry for the loss of your dad. 31:11-13), The Philistines had cut off Sauls head (v. 9), and the bodies were likely mutilated and decaying by the time the men of Israel retrieved the remains. After the pastor and I sat in silence for a couple minutes, the Pastor piped back up:, I feel so strongly about this topic that Ive preached a sermon series on it.. I believe in Heaven and God, so I feel that if you're cremated, how the heck do you get a resurrection body with your body crumbled to little gray pieces? I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. Memory plays into this by creating patterns of thinking. Mom passed 6 months ago today. Some authors make the distinction between guilt and regret, noting that guilt is the feeling we have when our conscience is violated, while regret is the feeling of sadness that In recent years, science has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human mind. Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in the Holy Bible. Funerals are changing. History Suggests It Isnt. After a person has died; nothing that happens to their body hurts them any more. With todays technology there is no longer the issue of whether or They were inseparable in life and as he says he goes where she goes. So, heres what I said with as much good will as I could: Pastor, for most people in our area, cremation isnt a theological issue, its a practical issue. If you like my writing, consider buying my 2017 Nautilus Book Award Gold Winner, Confession of a Funeral Director (click the image to go to the Amazon page): This entry was posted by Caleb Wilde on July 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm, and is filed under Embalming vs. Cremation. I looked at him before they took him to be cremated and he didn't want anyone to see him, but it was so unexpected. Fortunately, the information contained in this article can help speed up the process. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. My dad insisted on being cremated. Or perhaps you only perceive that you wronged the individual. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. When it comes to loss, you can experience feelings of guilt for a number of different reasons. However, if given a choice, contemporary believers open to cremation would be wise to carefully consider the practice and evaluate it in light of God's Word. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 2. Why Feeling Guilty Is Normal When Experiencing Grief The Reasons For Guilt. Although I have seen them. I love pastors because Ive seen how much good they do during death and dying. was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. It is the soul that goes to our Father in Heaven. She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. I was sort of surprised she would even think that was possible. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Trapped in your now lifeless shell? I stopped there because I didnt want to sound like I was lecturing him. Please make sure all fields are filled out. I'd hate to think that's life on Earth is just it. Another interesting aspect of the grieving process is whats known as survivors guilt. I hope you are all doing okay, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. I'm also struggling with the fact that there won't be a headstone or anywhere to visit and talk to her, I just prefer a traditional burial, I get that the body slowly decays and decomposes, but I much prefer it. Those of us who arent Jewish have a lot to learn from Jewish burial practices, specifically as it relates to home funerals and green burials, but most of us, like myself, simply dont believe that burning a body is violating G-ds creation. Before that, cremation was a seen an abandonment of the hope of resurrection, and, like Judaism and Orthodoxy, abuse of the creation of God. Your spirit guides will help you get what you desire in life. I believe